Friday Gauge Check: Irrational Thought Edition

I didn’t get the job. I was vastly overqualified and I probably would have been bored silly after a few weeks, but every time I go through the interview process and don’t get hired, I’m sandbagged by the irrational thought process that tells me that I’m unemployable and I’ll never find a job and eventually Jack will get tired of supporting me. I know it’s illogical and ridiculous, but the whole job-hunting process is totally demeaning and exhausting. Most days I can’t even hunt through the want ads without getting anxious, and when I’ve gotten over the anxiety enough to actually write a cover letter, submit my resume, and go through the interview process (this one involved a ten-page handwritten application) only to get a thirty-second phone call saying that they’ve chosen to “go in another direction” (what does that even MEAN?)… It’s very demoralizing.

Most of the week hasn’t been that anxious, because I was waiting, doing a little bit of transcription, playing Harry Potter, knitting not really much at all. I’m glad the answer came on Friday, really, because I was having a good day when it happened, and it didn’t manage to destroy my afternoon.

We went to the Tempe Festival of the Arts today, and that was nice. It was a gorgeous day, and I got another little bird print for my collection. I worked more on my Codename: Wintergreen glove, finishing the gusset and separating the thumb stitches out, and doing a few more rounds on the hand.

Goals this week: look into temping, finish that Knit Picks order, two pattern repeats on the Celtic Moonrise mittens, start a new sock and a shawl, and maybe finish the first Wintergreen glove.

~ by Amber on March 25, 2011.

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